


The Best Holidays Go Boom

by Okaasan59



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 03:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10152497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okaasan59/pseuds/Okaasan59
Summary: What's the best thing to do when you're visiting a friend's formal home? Make things explode, of course!





	

The Best Holidays Go Boom

 

Wufei was hunched over inside his jacket as he trudged down the back of hill of Quatre's estate. 

"It's not that cold," Heero said, glancing at his friend.

"I'm not used to it," Wufei admitted. "And I don't know how long Maxwell's going to have us out here. Where is he, anyway? I hope he didn't demand that we come outside just to play hide and seek."

"Looks like they're over this way." Heero led them around a large grouping of cedars that hid the main house behind them. Below them spread the formal lawn, dusted in snow and kept under the watchful eye of ornamental statuary and tall cedars.

Quatre and Trowa were inspecting something on the ground at Duo's feet.

"I haven't seen one of these in years," Trowa was saying in a boyishly eager voice.

"What exactly is it?" Wufei asked, eyeing the contraption suspiciously. It consisted of a length of PVC pipe, about 3 feet long, attached to a PVC base with an opening valve and a switch. A pile of potatoes sat on the ground nearby.

"You mean you've never seen a potato cannon before?" Duo's nose was already turning pink from the cold and his breath came out in a puff of steam as he hopped from foot to foot in his enthusiasm.

"A potato cannon? Do you shoot at the potatoes or use them for ammo?"

Duo grunted at Wufei. "You, my friend, are sadly lacking in the educational department." He ignored the glare he received and turned to Quatre who was inspecting the cannon.

"Looks pretty simple. And dangerous." Quatre gave Duo a look that said he wasn't quite sure this was a good idea.

"We used to make these all the time. It was better than eating the cook's potatoes at camp," Trowa said. 

"Didn't the mercenaries have enough weaponry without resorting to using vegetables?" Quatre teased.

"One can never have too much weaponry," Trowa said and was answered with a mixed chorus of amused snorts and grunts of agreement.

"I would have thought you had enough of blowing stuff up in the war, Duo," Wufei sighed. 

"You've got to be kidding me!" Duo exclaimed. "Making things explode is a time-honored family holiday tradition! Think of New Years and the 4th of July for starters."

"He's got you there, Chang." Heero had already removed the cap from the valve and was peering inside. "What do you use for propellant?" He lifted his brows when Duo pulled a can of hairspray from his pocket and started shaking it.

"The principle couldn't be any simpler, really. The potato gets shoved down the muzzle. Then I spray hairspray into the chamber and press this switch here, which is connected to the igniter I borrowed from Quatre's barbeque pit—"

"Hey!"

"—and BOOM! Mashed potato at 200 feet! If I'd thought about this ahead of time I could have made a pneumatic gun that would chuck those potatoes farther. As it is, I had to make do with stuff I found in Quatre's basement."

"That's...quite all right, Duo. I'm sure this will be more than entertaining," Quatre said in a choked voice.

Duo was shoving a potato down the barrel with a broomstick. "I'll go first to show you guys how it works." He handed the hairspray to Heero. "Hit me with a two second spray in the chamber."

Heero carefully unscrewed the threaded cap, sprayed the hairspray for exactly two seconds and quickly screwed the cap back on. Duo was already shouldering the makeshift bazooka. "Hit the switch!" he yelled.

There was a tremendous, echoing BOOM and Duo was nearly knocked onto his butt. The projectile spud sailed into the middle of the ornamental lawn where it landed and promptly exploded into a million bits.

"Alright!" Duo whooped. "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

"I'm next," Heero said. A point in the lawn was designated as the target area and soon each boy had the chance to try their marksmanship. With a weapon like this, though, accuracy took a back seat to enthusiasm.

"Hey, I was after Heero!"

"No, you went before me last time."

"I had the best shot so I should go first."

"It's Duo's cannon, let him decide."

"But it's made from MY stuff!"

A mission was made to the cellar for more potatoes. The back yard was beginning to show signs of the terrible starchy carnage that was taking place. A small crowd of shivering servants had gathered on the back patio to watch the continuing debacle as Duo took his turn again.

BOOM! The reluctant spud wobbled erratically as it hurtled from the cannon and neatly sheared off the raised fingers of a stone nymph. There was a chorus of "oohs" from the servants and complete silence from the former pilots. Duo lowered the cannon and turned with wide eyes to his friend. The apology he was about to utter died on his lips as he saw Quatre's face. They'd all seen this look of fierce, deadly concentration before and it didn't bode well.

Quatre silently walked up to Duo. He turned his head to briefly observe the victimized nymph, then turned back to give the perpetrator of the crime a carefully blank look. Taking the gun from Duo, he quietly reloaded it and brought it to his shoulder. Duo tried to hide behind Wufei until he realized where Quatre was aiming.

The formal statuary never stood a chance. 

Later, over hot chocolate in the library, they made plans for next year's more powerful gun. Rashid made plans to move all the statuary in November and several more of the servants decided to take their much-needed vacations during the next holiday season.

The end.


End file.
